Art by moth-eatn – Link
I woke up and went to school like I always do. It was a nice enough high school. Nothing too fancy but it did what it needed to do. I was told by a friend at some point during the year I should write my dreams and ideas down because they might be useful one day. Maybe I can write one into a novel one day. I never once considered ever doing anything writing based till then. I couldn’t help but feel I had good ideas. So I started spending more time day dreaming and wondering around my dream world. Trying to remember my dreams clearly and filling in bits I can’t remember with new ideas. Now let’s jump to this one girl in the other art class. She was beautiful. Talented beyond reason. Sweet and kind to the core. For current day continuity sake let’s call her Sarah. Sarah was good at everything but if you had to think of one thing she excelled at it would be art. She drew the most amazing pictures and the most beautiful paintings.
I had the idea of instead of a novel or short story. Why not make a comic book instead. I approached her with the idea and she loved it. I didn’t even tell her what the story was. She was in the moment I said “comic book”. She’s not a comic book reader or fan but she has always loved the art and style of comic books. She has considered trying it for a while but never had the chance to. Till I showed up offering to come up with the story. So we started work on the comic book when we had time. During spare periods, lunch, after school. By the way the comic was about a guy who was sent back in time or forward in time and became a samurai or future cyber samurai. Something crazy like that.
It was going really well. Her art was flawless and my story, well I had a story. I mean I’m 16/17. Give me some credit. The time we spent together became more and more enjoyable. It would have been a dream come true to go out with her but I had never considered it a possibility. Not for a second. She was far too out of my league. I find that I was able to go out with a lot of women that were far out of my league in my teenage years because I had good looking friends. I was too dumb to notice it then but I was used as a stepping stone for others very often. I just went around thinking I had awesome game. By this point I knew the truth well enough so I never thought anything can happen.
That being said there was for sure something there. Something was happening between us I can’t put into words. We enjoyed each other’s company sure but it was more like we were going out of our way to be around each other. I still remember the event threshold like it just happened. Sarah was sitting next to me beautiful as ever stressing over some homework or project for some class. She said “I just can’t do this Darkie.” Throwing her head down. (Darkie is a revised nick name from what she called me back then. I did not come up with The Darkster title till later but to again stay with current continuity its Darkie here) I was so comfortable being close to her and around her that I just took my hand combed it over her hair as I brought my head down next to her and said. “Sarah you’re the smartest person I know. Just calm down and you will figure it out.” She made this sad little face and I felt myself going closer to it. She noticed to and within 3 seconds our lips touched and we kissed. Her lips tasted like strawberries and they were the softest lips I have ever felt. I kissed her and she kissed back. When we came part she was so shy and embarrassed about it she covered her face and pushed my head away. I laughed and hugged her. I kissed her forehead and she was still too embarrassed to look me in the eye.
From there we went to prom together. Our comic book was published and actually did pretty well. I asked her to marry me on a camping trip we went on. The stars glowed in the sky as she said yes. We got married soon after that and then bought our first home with help from our parents. I continued to write comic books and novels and they did pretty well. Sarah became an accomplished fashion designer and had some very notable stars wearing her designs. We had our son soon after that. His name was Adroc. She wanted to have a boy and a girl but I was pretty set with just the boy.
Adroc was a smart kid. Took after his mother for sure but every one said he looks more like me. I remember when he was born. I remember his first words. When he started crawling and for sure remember when he started walking. The kid was a trouble maker. I remember his first day of school. I remember the days going by and thinking my wife grew more beautiful with age. I remember going to bed happy, full of life and wonder. I had the life of my dreams.
Then I woke up. I was very confused waking up in a bed I don’t remember. I felt around for Sarah and only felt pillows and the wall. I started recognizing the room. It was my room back in high school. That is when it hit me. That is when I realized I was in a nightmare. My mom opened the door to wake me up. It didn’t matter. I was still in shock. I was frozen in time. She saw I was awake and went on about her business. I was remembering years of my life that never happened. I remember so many things. I remember being happy every single day. That is the power of truly being happy. Being able to enjoy one day to its fullest and go to bed knowing that tomorrow will be just as good if not better. That is happiness. It was gone now. I knew today was not going to be a happy day. I went to school that day. I think this was the day I really learned how to put on a fake smile and act like everything was ok. I’m sure I was a bit clumsy then but I am a master of this now. That is exactly what I did. All of a sudden I was 16 again. I went to sleep as 32 and woke up as 16. I joked with my friends. I smiled and answered questions in class. I survived. That being said I cried my eyes out that morning and when I got back from school. You want to know the funniest thing about it. Sarah doesn’t exist. My mind made her up. There is no brilliant Sarah who is an amazing artist in my school. No such person. That didn’t matter to me though. I thought about ways to get back there. Nothing logical came up. Then again it’s a dream right? Does it need to be logical? Maybe jumping off a bridge is all it takes. Don’t worry I didn’t jump off a bridge since I’m here writing this now. I can’t lie though. I did considered a lot of not so great stuff to try and get back. My logical side talked me out of them.
I’m over it all now though. Well almost over it all. I will always love Sarah and Adroc. That will never change. But I have found someone I love now. In what I think is real life or this everlasting nightmare I’m in. Maybe this girl I’m in love with now is simply here to torment me. To have me love her more than anything but constantly push me away. After months of planning I finally built up the courage to ask her out and she told me she was “flattered”. I really hate that word now. I didn’t give up after that. I’m still trying even now. I’m working on losing weight and being helpful. I want her to always smile. She has a beautiful smile. I don’t think she understands even now how much I actually care for her. Is loving someone with every fiber of your existence enough? In dreams it is enough. In fairy tales and love story’s it is plenty. In this nightmare it doesn’t seem to be. I’ll keep trying though. Even if she ends up hating me, if she doesn’t already. I can’t just let go because she doesn’t “like” me in that way. If I can’t get back into my dream I will try my hardest to make a dream out of this nightmare.
– The Mad Man