I went into Jurassic world: Fallen Kingdom expecting a B tier monster movie with Chris Pratt and that’s exactly what I got. The Jurassic Park movies have always been monster movies in the same vein as Godzilla and King Kong. They just broke into mainstream much better than any other monster movie and we just accepted a questionable belief in the accuracy of the science and palaeontology presented in the first movie. The dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies are not accurate. Actually they are so inaccurate to actual dinosaurs that a mutation like Godzilla or King. Kong is genuinely more scientifically plausible than the dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park films. Growing up as a kid the first Jurassic Park movie was one of my favorite movies of all time. Still is. I watched it so many times that my tape copy stopped working. Those things can only take so many plays and rewinds. I also took the movie seriously at the time just like everyone else did when it came to the science. The internet was nothing like it is today and I didn’t get my first computer for another 7 years or so. Besides I was using that computer to look at much more “extravagant things” than dinosaurs when I got it. I was a dirty little boy and now I’m a big dirty man. But this big dirty man now has the internet and knows better than to expect any sense of realism or accurate science from any movie let alone a series as fantastical as Jurassic Park. They themselves in the films have admitted to the questionable science of the dinosaurs presented. The Indominus Rex was literally a Frankenstein creation. The Indominus Rex and the Indoraptor are just as much an actual dinosaur as I am. Yes, I’m upset I’m not a dinosaur too.
Accepting all that, was Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom good? No not really, but how many monster movies other than the first Jurassic park are actually good movies? This isn’t trying to be the next God Father or Inception. Again taking it back to the beginning of this review, “B tier monster movie with Chris Pratt”. That’s exactly what I got and I didn’t mind. I think the Indo Raptor was cool even though it didn’t really do anything. I think its kind of funny that they redesigned the park just to make it easier for these dinosaurs to escape. Its also kind of funny how their tech is absolute trash. Why do they need to be on the ground to close a gate wirelessly? Also, why is said wireless connection terminated if the tablet that started the closing sequence breaks? I don’t know, It doesn’t make sense but neither does Godzillas atomic breath and Frankenstein coming back to life using electricity from a storm. In Godzillas defence, they at least try to explain it and it only adds onto the interesting lore of the king of monster. Where as here with Jurassic World it feels more like they think everyone watching is an idiot. Which honestly is kind of a safe assumption since a lot of the people going to watch these movies think its scientifically accurate in some way or they have this inner hate towards dinosaurs with feathers. Which I just call dinosaurs. They had feather, get over it. I personally find that to be really cool but that’s just me.
Overall was Chris Pratt a handsome boy and the movie a fun enough viewing? Yes and yes. Is it a good movie? Not at all but I don’t mind. I don’t think most monster movies are classically good movies but I still like a lot of them. Would I watch it again? Yes. It would be a fun film to watch for a Jurassic Park or Monster Movie marathon with friends. I just don’t see myself watching it again sober unironically. Which is kind of a good tip going into this movies if you haven’t seen it already. Have a few drinks before or sneak a few into the theatre with you. It will make the movie better and if it doesn’t at least you will be drunk.